Turnabout Fudge
by Flaire Murasawa
Summary: Maya wants to make chocolate for Valentine's Day! Little does she know the trouble this causes for poor Phoenix... rated for very slight, practically invisible NaruMitsu, MilesPhoenix.
1. February 12

I wrote this after watching "Unforgettable Memories," a PW fan-video using game, official, doujinshi and fanart images by Immolove. It has a hint of PxE, but is also just awesome in relation to the whole PW saga. It reminded me of how good the game was, and used exact quotes from the game. I watched it several times and highly recommend it, especially for this one part near the end that shows all the characters. All. Anyway, happy Two Days Until Valentine's Day!

Warnings: Gyakuten Saiban (Phoenix Wright) 3 spoilers for the last case. Hinted shounen-ai (Edgeworth x Phoenix) but you really see nothing.

Disclaimer: Gyakuten Saiban aka Phoenix Wright is property of Capcom and is not mine. I am making no profit from this except in review counts. Any recipes found in this narrative are not mine and are property of…someone else. But I'm not getting any money for it either.

**The 12****th**

Humming a traditional Fey family chant (for lack of modern pop songs), Maya Fey busily swept up the waiting area of Wright and Co. Law Offices. The stress of the last case being too much for him, Phoenix decided to take the week off. Unfortunately, the second he hung the "Will Be Out," sign on the entrance, Maya burst out, "Great, Nick! Now that we don't have to worry about clients coming in, we can give this place a proper clean-up!"

He would have protested, had it not been for little Pearl standing behind her, also cheering, "Clean-up! Clean-up!"

Normally, they didn't do huge cleaning projects, because Phoenix "strategically" pointed out that, "Organizing a mess usually makes a bigger mess. If a client saw that, they'd turn around and march right out! And then I won't have any money to buy you burgers, Maya," he added.

Since then, they stuck with the basic dusting, vacuuming, wiping blinds and windows, and cleaning the toilet. The chaotic whirlwind of interview records, evidence, police reports, old court records, research material, applications for reopening closed cases, client/lawyer agreements (and most recently, waivers), bills, payments, tax forms, and coupon clippings remained untouched for an unforeseen number of eons. Until now.

This day being dubbed, "The Major, Ultimate, No-Holds-Barred, Super Supreme Tidying Day," they rented a carpet steamer and floor waxer, purchased cans of wood varnish, plenty of filing folders with tabs, a small bookshelf where Pearl could properly place her belongings (instead of neatly cramming them onto the nearest flat surface), and had broken out the (step-)ladder, broom and dustpan. They used a broom because several weeks prior, Maya had vacuumed up the end of Phoenix's trenchcoat. Although the coat was withdrawn unharmed, it had effectively rendered the vacuum ineffective.

Phoenix was the first to call dibs on the toilet, but the Fey cousins dutifully reminded him that only he could do the paperwork, and with the promise of Pearl taking care of the bathroom, shoved him into the office. They would have locked the door if there were a key.

Which is how Maya ended up wondering of she should bust out the carpet steamer just yet or use the stepladder to wipe down the textured walls. In her moment of thought, she could hear the swish of Pearl scrubbing the toilet bowl, and various metallic clangs and scraping noises as heavily laden cabinets were open and shut over in Phoenix's prison. For this moment, life was back to normal.

But it wasn't normal. Eventually, she would have to return as the new Master of Kurain.

The well-being of the village would be in her hands.

She still bummed free hamburgers any opportunity she got.

She would need to teach Kurain Channeling Techniques to the young girls in the village when they came of age, including Pearl.

She still couldn't even tell if she had channeled someone or not.

Well, she would get to that when the time came. Giving her raven hair a decisive flip over one shoulder, the acolyte leaned over to dust off an ornamental box. Mia bought that one, no doubt—Phoenix didn't really have a head for décor. With a growing smile on her face, Maya straightened up, catching a glance of the calendar hanging right next to her.

Scanning the dates, she noticed that in the crisis of the last weekend, something was forgotten. Curling a hand against her cheek, she wondered if this was the appropriate time to bring it up.

Well, of course it was!

"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"

*crash!* *bang!*

Maya threw open the door to Phoenix's private office. "Nick! I totally forgot, can you believe it? It's almost—wow, what happened to you?"

She stared at the ace attorney, curled up on the floor next to a fallen chair and buried in papers, a drawer dangling precariously above him.

"Well," Phoenix groaned, gingerly raising himself up on his hands and feeling around his head for any injuries. "Mia keeps a history of the purchase and bills for the office up in that cabinet. I found the forms that changed the name to, 'Wright and Co.,' so I figured they better go up there." He flinched when his fingers found a bruise on the side of his temple. "But the only way she could reach that cabinet was if she used some sort of Kurain Flying Technique."

"Wow, Nick, that would be awesome," grinned Maya, clapping her hands together in delight. "A Kurain Flying Technique. Then we can fly to all of our crime scenes and find more clues! It'll be like Superman, except we'll be…Super Sleuth and the Blue Lawyer!"

"Hey!"

"But never mind that, Nick, have you checked your calendar? Valentine's Day is the day after tomorrow!"

The attorney wrinkled his brow as he set the chair back upright. "Ummm…yes, so it is." Why was she so excited about that? Wait, she didn't expect him to take her and Pearl out for an extravagant dinner, did she?! Beads of sweat started rolling down his face.

'Paycheck plus holiday money minus meals for the next month minus all this cleaning stuff minus utilities minus rent…'

"We hardly have any time to prepare! Nick, you can make chocolate, can't you?"

His downward spiral of thoughts came to a screeching halt. The man who could bluff his way out of any situation, almighty master of courtroom conjecture, collected this new information, processed it, and formulated an appropriate response.

"Huh?"

His superior knowledge did not faze the teenager one bit. "I'm going to take that as a 'no.' I want to make chocolate for Valentine's Day, and you're going to help me!"

"Vallon-times-dei?"

"Pearly!" The ebony-haired girl whipped around to face her younger cousin, who was drawn over by the commotion and only heard the last part of the sentence. "Valentine's Day is coming up, so we're going to make chocolate and give it to all the guys that we know."

Phoenix knew in an instant that he didn't like that smile. "Wait, wait, I never agreed to this!"

"But, Mystic Maya, what's Valentine's Day?" Pearl asked curiously as the pair ignored him.

The older girl bent forward and tilted her head to look the child in the eye. "Well, Pearly, Valentine's Day is a very special day where people show how much they love each other."

Pearl blinked, and nodded in understanding. "Oh, like Christmas?"

Maya's grin just grew wider. In the background, Phoenix facevaulted.

"No, not like Christmas. Valentine's Day is a day people spend with their 'special someone,'" Maya explained cheerfully.

"Oh, like you and Mr. Nick!" was Pearl's happy response.

Behind the desk where said lawyer had fallen, a leg twitched.

The purple-robed girl's grin dropped from her face faster than Maggey Byrde could freak out. "No, no Pearly, Nick and I are partners, just like he was with my sister Mia!"

"You mean he left Mystic Mia for you?" Pearl gasped, before pushing one sleeve up her arm.

Previously-mentioned leg was pulled safely out of sight behind the desk.

"That's not it at all!" Maya protested and tried to change the subject. "People celebrate Valentine's Day by giving each other candies and presents and cards, right?" She had momentarily forgotten that this was Pearl she was talking to, but that didn't matter, because she steamed right ahead. "Well, they celebrate it differently in Japan. I learned that on Valentine's Day there, girls make chocolates and give it to all the boys that they know. I thought it sounded fun, Pearly. Don't you want to make chocolate?"

Maya's cheer was contagious. "I like chocolate! Mama always makes a chocolate cake on my birthday!"

"So, Pearl, what do you say?" Maya asked in a teasing tone.

Pearl was positively ecstatic. "Oh, yes, let's do it, Mr. Nick!"

"What?!" Phoenix shot up from behind the desk, miraculously recovered. "Wait, what's the big idea? I never agreed to this!"

Instantaneously, he was met with two pairs of large, watery gray eyes.

"N…Nick, you can't be so cruel as to dash the dreams of two children, are you?" Maya hiccupped.

'You're nineteen, you're an adult now!' Phoenix wanted to say. Her act wasn't fooling him for one second.

Pearl's lower lip trembled.

Okay, now THAT one wasn't an act.

~end chapter one. Please review!


	2. February 13

Warnings: Gyakuten Saiban (Phoenix Wright) 3 spoilers for the last case. Hinted shounen-ai (Edgeworth x Phoenix) but you really see nothing.

Disclaimer: Gyakuten Saiban aka Phoenix Wright is property of Capcom and is not mine. I am making no profit from this except in review counts. Any recipes found in this narrative are not mine and are property of…someone else. But I'm not getting any money for it either.

Welcome to part 2 in my attempt to get a Valentine's Story out before the flood of Valentine's Stories roll in. This is more family fun, no appearance by Edgey yet. (sorry girls)

The 13th

"I found the marshmallow fluff!" Maya victoriously slam-dunked the jar into a waiting shopping cart.

"Hey, you break it, you buy it," Phoenix grumbled as he came up behind her with Pearl riding on his shoulders. In her hands was a package of chopped nuts. He stopped for her to reach out over his head and plop the bag into the cart before turning around and hunting for the baking chocolate. Maya was already examining shelves for vanilla extract.

The previous evening was eventful, to say the least. Cleaning forgotten, the two acolytes wouldn't listen as Phoenix voiced his certainty that chocolate couldn't be made at home. ("The girls in Japan probably bought chocolate from the store to melt and pour into molds, that's what they meant by 'making chocolate'!") In the end, the three crowded around the computer to search the internet for chocolate-making recipes.

The lawyer visited a chocolate factory once, when he was on vacation with his parents. Although he couldn't exactly recall everything, he was pretty certain it was a long and complicated process that required large shiny machinery like the kind you'd find in Star Wars Episode 3.

By the time they figured out that the only thing they could find on the internet were long, complicated processes involving custom-ordering native cocoa beans, roasting, peeling and hand-grinding them with warnings that it would turn out funny-tasting and lumpy, the girls decided they had no choice but to buy regular chocolate from the store and melt them into cute shapes. Maya would have pouted all night if the brunette hadn't taken them all out for "dejection-burgers."

After the small party arrived back at Phoenix's apartment and the Fey cousins were falling asleep on the sofa-bed in the midst of late night Pink Princess reruns, Phoenix scoured his bookshelf for any cookbooks that might hold a solution to their plight. At last, he found a possibility in a cheap cooking manual he bought out of pity from some starving home economics student when he was in high school.

"Maya, Maya, wake up," he shook the girl out of her half-doze.

"Huh? Whatizzit?" she mumbled, making out the blurry image of a plastic-bound book thrust into her face. Blinking, she rubbed her eyes and willed them to focus.

Phoenix puffed his chest proudly and pointed a triumphant finger at one of the recipes. "I think I found the solution to your chocolate problem!"

No reaction.

And he thought it was such a great turnabout, too. "I know it's not the same thing, but you wanted something you could make, and--"

"Nick, you're a genius! Why didn't we think of this before? Pearly!"

She reached over to wake the younger girl, but the attorney quickly swiped an arm between Maya and Pearl. "It's late. We'll tell her tomorrow."

Sadly, they didn't get the reaction they were hoping for the morning after.

"Faahj?" the grade-schooler sounded out.

Phoenix wasn't surprised, but Maya looked like it was the end of the world. "Fudge, Pearly! It's like chocolate, but better and yummier and kind of expensive, but we're going to make it! Then you can see what fudge tastes like!"

Pearl bit her thumb. Phoenix could almost see the gears turning in her head. "Better than chocolate?"

"You can see for yourself later, Pearly. Can you imagine how happy this will make Detective Gumshoe and Mr. Edgeworth?"

EDGEWORTH?! He hadn't had the energy to worry about him over the last few days. Since the pompous prosecutor had gone through the trouble of chartering a private jet to get to this country, he decided to stay for a while to make up for it. (Actually, when he and Franziska saw the prosecution's track record since they left, the pair were so abhorred that they planted themselves firmly in temporary offices and got to work. The Demon Prosecutor and Genius Prosecutor wouldn't be budged until people started going to jail.) Phoenix knew he owed him big for saving his hide, yet again.

"Wait, Maya. I know you want to try a Japanese tradition, but we're not in Japan. When I went to school, you couldn't give a valentine to only one person—you had to give one to everyone in class. It wouldn't be fair if you made all this fudge and only gave it to a few people," he pointed out.

Suddenly serious, Pearl nodded, and added, "It's discrimination."

The adults stared slack-jawed at Pearl. Just what were they teaching on those learning programs, anyway?

With a little effort, Maya pulled her mouth shut and turned it into a dazzling smile. "Well, the more the merrier. Valentine's Day is tomorrow. What are we waiting for?"

Thankfully, the recipe was simple, and they only needed a few things. Since they were going out, Phoenix remembered he had some business to take care of, and sat in his room writing a letter while Maya and Pearl watched Children's Masterpiece Theatre together. Then they took the bus to the video rental store to swap "The Steel Samurai Meets the Pink Princess!" for "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children", and stopped at a nearby drugstore for extra band-aids, gummy vitamins for Pearl, calcium tablets for Phoenix, and shampoo for Maya.

They rode to the post office next. A block from the post office were the public park and library, which Pearl begged to visit. She borrowed four books and Maya took two. (Phoenix had enough to read back at the office.) Since this was now officially an all-day affair, Phoenix left the pair goofing off at the playground and returned with pork buns, potstickers and boba for lunch.

This is how they wound up at the local Malph's late in the afternoon.

"There's the chocolate, Mr. Nick!"

"Where?" He swiveled around in the direction where Pearl was pointing.

"There, you just passed it. Keep going. Riiiight…here! Stop."

It happened to be on a middle shelf, and he kneeled so she could grab two packages. The pink-clad girl hopped to the ground and skipped over to the cart with her treasures. Having found the condensed milk in another aisle, they just had to wait for Maya to find the vanilla.

The teenager scanned the shelves too quickly earlier. She must have skipped it somehow, and was now reading the labels on every bottle to check. "Lemon juice, almond extract, essence of mint, red dye, blue dye, yellow dye, green dye, linseed oil, nutmeg, cumin, cloves…"

"Vanilla!" Phoenix crowed, snatching up the bottle three shelves down from where Maya was searching.

"Hey, I would have found that!" Maya protested, but was drowned out by Pearl's cheer of, "Yay, let's go!"

"Ah, home sweet home," Phoenix sighed, stepping into the apartment.

As he fiddled with the key, Maya and Pearl ran in behind him. Maya unceremoniously dumped her drugstore bag on the couch and Pearl carefully placed the library books on the coffee table before making a break for the kitchen.

"Hurry up, Nick, let's start!"

"Not until you've put those things away properly, Maya." Had the attorney heard himself, he would have been mortified at how motherly he sounded.

Pearl eagerly rose on her tip-toes to watch Phoenix place the paper bag on the kitchen table and remove the groceries while Maya dashed out and back in at the speed of light, finishing by putting the vitamins in the cupboard.

The sole source of testosterone in the room looked over the directions. "It says we need a four quart microwaveable bowl, something to stir it with, and a square baking pan."

No sooner had he said it than the wooden spoon and plastic popcorn bowl materialized in front of him with a rattle.

"Mr. Nick, do you have a baking pan?" Pearl asked. Maya didn't bother and was already flinging open cupboards to check.

"Yes, I'll show you. No, no, not there Maya!" Dashing in front of the teenage acolyte, he closed the door guarding the delicate china his parents had gotten him as a moving-in present. Willing the heart attack to pass, Phoenix directed a shaky finger at the oven. "Under there."

The pink-robed girl cocked her head, a questioning look in her eyes, but she got on her knees and reached to grasp the bottom edge of the oven. To her surprise, a compartment slid out.

"Oh!"

In the newly-discovered drawer was a small pile of baking sheets of varying sizes, and right on top was a 9 x 9 inch baking pan.

"Wow, Nick!" Maya exclaimed, bouncing over to peer into the drawer as Pearl gingerly lifted out the baking pan as though it were made of glass. "Do you actually use these?"

That was enough to break the lawyer from the shock of nearly losing his precious porcelain collection. "Of course I do!" he straightened up with a huff. "At least, I did…until you came around."

"What's that supposed to mean?" the top-knotted teen growled at the same time a much-less vehement voice piped up.

"Here's the pan. May we start now?"

All traces of outrage erased, Maya was all sparkles and smiles in a split-second. "Of course, Pearly! Nick, what does the book say?"

"Hold on," he stepped into the next room to grab the cookbook, opening to the page marked by a wooden clothespin. "Let's put this on the counter, so we can all see it. I only have one apron, so Pearls gets to wear it."

He kneeled down to tie the girl into a yellow apron with cute cats sticking their heads out of the breast pocket, with more walking around the bottom. In the meantime, Maya read ahead of the recipe and ravaged the fridge. "Butter! Okay, measuring cup, measuring cup…"

"Maya, can't you wait for one second?" Phoenix grumbled, finishing a double-knot at Pearl's waist.

"Where do you keep the sugar Nick?"

"MAYA!"

All this chaos, and they hadn't even started yet! Thankfully, the instructions were only a few sentences long.

"Okay, Pearls, what does the first step say?"

"'Microwave butter on high until melted,'" the youngster said clearly.

"Oooh, let's see, how much butter does it say? That much? I want to cut it!"

Phoenix looked up in time to see the teenaged member of their little party enthusiastically waving a knife above her head. His mind flashed back through countless B-rated horror movies.

"Hey, Maya, careful with—!"

*CHOP!*

The attorney flinched, waiting for the screaming to start.

*Plonk*

"Plonk"? He cracked one eye open—in his terror, he hadn't even realized he shut them.

A whole-and-happy ebony-haired acolyte was looking into the bowl satisfactorily. "Butter, check."

But true to the cookbook's reputation, the rest of the process went as uneventfully, even when the chefs included a child, a fast-food-obsessed teenager and a bachelor. That is, until they opened the marshmallow fluff.

"What is that?" Maya muttered, and Phoenix had to agree. He expected something called "marshmallow fluff" to look like whipped cream, or a cloud, or even just a giant marshmallow, not a jarful of white peanut butter. He didn't even protest when the teenager stuck a finger in and took a lick. Her eyes widened.

"It's good. Here, you guys try!"

"Alright," the lawyer complied, index finger rared and ready to go, but an intense glare from below stopped him short.

"Um…." He quickly turned to grab two spoons from the drawer behind him, and handed one to the pink-robed girl. "Ladies first."

Silently, the little brunette dipped hers into the white, sticky substance, and lifted out a petite mouthful, while Phoenix helped himself to a slightly larger sampling.

"Yummy!" Pearl cupped her hands to her face in delight, eyes sparkling.

The attorney nodded in agreement. "It tastes like marshmallow innards."

"Nick, let's get another jar of this and eat it sometime!" Maya suggested cheerfully, at the same time Pearl gasped, "Innards?!"

Phoenix pretended to be preoccupied with scooping the fluff into the bowl.

~end Part 2


	3. February 14

Warnings: Gyakuten Saiban (Phoenix Wright) 3 spoilers for the last case. Hinted shounen-ai (Edgeworth x Phoenix) but you really see nothing. And I mean nothing. I think I can label this as a gen. story, really.

Disclaimer: Gyakuten Saiban aka Phoenix Wright is property of Capcom and is not mine. I am making no profit from this except in review counts. Any recipes found in this narrative are not mine and are property of…someone else. But I'm not getting any money for it either.

A/N: As you can see, I changed the rating and genre of this story accordingly--it didn't quite go the way I planned. So this is it! I finally finished…a week and a half after Valentine's Day. I suck. But look out for my next story—it should be out on time. *hintMarch14hint*

The 14th

"Let's go let's go let's go!" Maya and Pearl both chanted as soon Phoenix exited his bedroom door.

"Wait, wait, you guys, I have to eat my breakfast first!"

They were already at it again? The poor brunette nearly wept with relief the night before when he finally got the ingredients to mix after Maya stirred for thirty minutes without success (all it needed was a precise application of arm muscles). They poured it into the pan to solidify, and he simply couldn't deny them when the teenaged acolyte announced, "We're going out for victory-burgers!" which was followed up by her cohort's, "I want the Kid's Special!" This idea wasn't turning out to be as wallet-friendly as he anticipated.

"So," asked Phoenix, "what do you two want for breakfast?"

"We already ate."

"I made you eggs!"

The lawyer was taken aback. Maya eating breakfast before the morning cartoons ended? Pearl using the stove, even though she burned herself on the rim of the last pan she used and swore never to cook with fire again? Phoenix surveyed kitchen: eggs in the pan, bread waiting for him to toast, fudge cut into a giant heart shape…

The spiky-haired man's own heart filled with dread even before he knew what that implied.

"M…Maya?" he called, "Did you make enough fudge for everyone…?"

The samurai-holic was currently captivated by the screen, so her cousin piped up for her, "Yes, Mr. Nick. We made in-duh-visual sizes for everyone, and tied them up in baggies to make them look nice."

A quick check of the fridge confirmed the small pile of fudge squares, each in a sandwich bag complete with a red bow. Oh, good, there was enough for everyone. Well, he supposed the fudge heart was for them to keep at home and eat themselves—he wouldn't put it past the elder Fey, at least.

"Okay then, since you guys did this all by yourselves, we can leave after I'm done eating."

"Hey, you did most of the work, Nick." Maya turned away from the television since only commercials were on. "That's how come we kept a huge chunk especially for you," she winked.

"So you can give to your special someone!" Pearl added with glee.

Oh. Oh no.

Pearl helpfully lifted the heart to Phoenix's face as he straightened from locking the bikes in front of police headquarters. He took it with a small wince, and flinched under the grade-schooler's disappointed frown. The attorney quickly swapped his expression with an uncomfortable smile, which seemed to satisfy the little girl, who took her own armful of chocolatey confections and followed her cousin into the building. Phoenix trudged in after them.

Pretty familiar with the police station at this point, the trio bypassed reception, the ebony-haired girl leading the march straight up to Detective Gumshoe's desk.

Dick Gumshoe scratched his head with his pencil and tucked it back behind his ear. When did that coffee stain get on his report? He only drank from cheap Styrofoam cups at his desk, and they didn't stain in wide rings like that. Wait… he bent over the paper, peering past his nose at the mysterious mark. That coloring was so dark, it must have been from someone who took their coffee black…very black…and ate brownies wrapped in cellophane…

Wait, that wasn't on his report before!

"Happy Valentine's Day, Detective Gumshoe!" "Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Detective!" came simultaneous cries before the hulking man found himself wrapped in two hugs.

"Hey, you two rascals!" he laughed, happy for a distraction from his paperwork. "What was that for?"

Maya winked. "It's Valentine's Day, so—"

"—we're spreading the luuuuuuuuv!" Pearl finished.

Behind them, the blue-suited lawyer waved weakly, clamping down on his facevault reflex. How early did they wake up to plan all this?

"Now, now," Gumshoe smiled embarrassedly at the trio, "I'm flattered, but I have a special girl waiting for me already."

"Oooh, so you're spending Valentine's Day with your special someone?" the pink-robed girl sighed happily.

"Are you taking her out for a romantic dinner? You haven't been making Maggey cry, have you?" the older acolyte mock-frowned.

The inspector was aghast. "What? No! I mean, I'm at work now, but she packed me a special box lunch!"

He whipped out a plastic food container and removed the lid with a flourish, revealing rice packed into the shape of a heart, several octo-dogs and what was doubtless a love note.

"Kyaaaaaaaah!"

While the others chatted happily about the extent of Maggey's love and dedication, Phoenix tuned out the high-pitched squeals with well-practiced ease.

'Wonder how long they're going to talk? If it's Pearl and they're talking about romance,' internal wince here, 'that's going to keep them busy. Does Gumshoe even know I'm here? Why does he always have that bandage on his chin, anyway? I thought it was a shaving accident, but there's no way he can cut himself shaving in the exact same place every day. Or maybe it's one of those waterproof band-aids that never come off, and he forgot it's there. That is going to give him on heck of a tan line when it finally does come off.'

The brunette lawyer's budding parenting senses tingled, and he paused his musings on the origins of Gumshoe's ever-constant band-aid just in time to catch, "—and here's one for Maggey, too! You two have a wonderful Valentine's Day!"

"Why, thank you little lady, I'll tell her you said 'Hi.'"

The Fey cousins just dropped a square of fudge at the head detective's workspace (now sporting a calendar of "Hottest Firewomen" he bought at a fire department fundraiser), when a sudden disturbance caught the group's attention.

"I didn't do it! You can ask anybody! I was framed, framed I tell you! Of course I had a license to sell Samurai Dogs there, but a squirrel ate my permit! Hey! Hey!" a youthful voice screeched with everything it had, as a lanky figure in a distinct orange jacket was dragged into the department office space by two officers and forced into a chair.

Gumshoe spoke up, "Hey, isn't he that killer?" but the crew of Wright and Co were already on the scene.

"You can't do this! I want my lawyer!" the shouting continued.

"It's your lucky day, Larry," Phoenix sighed, clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Larry Butz's head snapped up. "Nick!" he exclaimed, eyes going huge and tear-filled in a microsecond. "Boy, am I glad to see you! You've gotta help me!"

The rookie policeman coughed. "Excuse me, but civilians should avoid contact with the suspect for your own safety."

"Oh, um, I'm his lawyer," Phoenix stuck out a hand.

The other man took it. "Wow, I've never seen that work before."

"Well, he gets himself into a lot of hairy situations…"

"Hey, Nick, what's with the heart?"

With a start, the attorney realized he was still clutching the fudge heart in a bag of saran that Pearl "helped" him make.

Blushing furiously, he hid the sack from Larry's view and ignored him by speaking with the officer in charge. "I'd like to ask you what he's being detained for?"

The bearded man pressed on. "Oooooh, Nick has a girlfriend!"

"Hey, Larry, remember us?" the topknotted girl made herself known. Yes, Phoenix was saved!

"Maya! I never forget a beautiful face. And my little loser buddy!" Larry greeted the pair. Pearl giggled.

"Loser Handshake! Up hi—ugh." His right hand was still handcuffed to his seat. Whipping out his left hand, he tried again. "Up high!"

Pearl jumped up to slap his hand.

"Down low!"

"Look, we got you a Valentine's Day present!"

One policeman noticed. "Is it okay for those girls to be here?"

"Yes, they're…ah…my associates. Now, about the item…"

It looked like Wright and Co was back in business.

"What is this?" Franziska eyed the offered confection with disdain.

"This is fudge," Pearl proudly declared. She knew something that an adult didn't! "We made it ourselves."

The von Karma's expression didn't twitch an iota. "I can see that, but why are you holding in that fashion?"

Indeed, the small bag sat in the pink-robed girl's outstretched palm, hovering about a foot from the prosecutor's nose. The brunette blinked at the inquiry. "It's for you," she answered, standing on her tiptoes and further invading Franziska's personal space.

The German abruptly returned to her case file. "It looks like dog excrement. And I refuse to eat any sweet that wasn't handcrafted in Europe. Go find yourself a fool who will foolishly eat your foolish attempt at baking."

Pearl frowned. "We made this in the microwave."

"Ha, you don't know how fudge is made!" Maya butted in, and Phoenix closed the door on an angrily sputtering bluenette, leaving the three girls to resolve their own matters.

As the voices in the room rose high enough to be heard through the door…four yards away…the defense attorney looked at his treat and sighed. Pearl made him carry it into the prosecutor's offices too. They passed out more fudge than he thought they would—including that poor security guard the girls took pity on at the front desk (who was trying to strangle himself with a megaphone because a girl shot him down), and then in apology to a balding man Maya nearly ran over on her bike. Now all they had left was the chunk for his "special someone."

Phoenix looked towards the stairwell.

He told Maya it would be unfair if they didn't give everyone a little something on Valentine's Day.

Pearl would kill him if he didn't give Maya his heart by the end of the day.

The commotion from Prosecutor von Karma's office was escalating.

"We do celebrate Valentine's Day in Germany!"

"Oh, yeah? What's the story behind Valentine's Day?"

"A story? I love stories!"

He guessed that they would take awhile. The blue-suited man opened the door to the stairwell.

Pearl would understand.

Phoenix was surprised to find Edgeworth's door locked. Maybe he was out for an early lunch, or had a court case today? Just in case, he rapped the wooden surface a few times, cautiously calling, "Edgeworth?" and waited.

It took a minute before he heard the locks turn, and a slate-gray eye peeked out. "Oh, thank goodness it's just you, Wright."

"What do you mean by that?" the brunette frowned as he entered the office, and raised his eyebrows at the bouquets and balloons, a stack of heart-shaped boxes and small pile of Steel Samurai action figures placed around his rival's desk.

"It's that woman, she's been sending me chocolates and flowers every hour since I came in this morning," Edgeworth ranted, securing the deadbolts. "That…that Oldbag, even sent me a singing telegram. If my work weren't so important, I'd leave right now!"

Phoenix winced. The alien.

The prosecutor continued, "I mean, I get the usual amount of Valentine's trinkets from coworkers and so forth, but frankly, why can't she leave me alone?" He collapsed in his chair with a groan. "I really should remember to get a restraining order for that woman. Didn't that sidekick of yours watch Steel Samurai? Take a few of those for her," he added, waving a hand at the unopened toys.

"Errrrr…alright, thanks Edgeworth." He was neck-deep in Valentines already—obviously he wouldn't mind missing one or two...or five, judging by the number of blister-wrapped packages, peppered with red heart stickers. The best idea, the defense attorney figured, was to grab the proffered items and beat a hasty retreat.

"So, why are you here, Wright?"

Oh Schmidt.

Taking a deep breath, Phoenix tried to come up with a response that would cause the least trauma. "Maya and…"

"Oh, Edgey-poo!" crooned a voice from the doorway.

"Gods, it's her!" Edgeworth vanished.

'Did he just…duck under his desk?'

"Have you no sense of self-preservation, Wright?" came the urgent whisper. "Hide!!!"

The brunette crouched down to the eye level of the so-called Demon Prosecutor (who was currently huddled at the corner of the table) and not bothering to lower his voice, said, "She can't see you when the door's closed."

"Obviously you also lack any powers of observation," Edgeworth hissed. "The door has a peephole!"

"You can't see anything through a peephole."

"Then why are you hiding down here?"

"I'm not hiding!" To make his point, Phoenix stood up—

"I brought you some afternoon teeeeeeeeeea!" Wendy Oldbag's words of love sailed through the thin barrier of wood.

--and swiftly dropped back to the ground.

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow.  
"It was a reflex!" the other man said hotly.

A roll of the eyes proved that his sometimes-partner didn't believe him.

"It's your favorite Earl Grey!" the aged voice continued.

Both men went as rigid as Phoenix's hair.

"I even got your favorite brand although I found one that was much more expensive and obviously must be a higher quality but I brought both to see which one suits your taste better oh ho ho you're so cute when you're drinking you tea Edgey why haven't I seen you all day are you shy oh how sweet but that's okay I'm a nice girl I'm sure all sorts of young tramps that propositioned you and why not you're a fine cultured young man with a promising career and a true gentleman besides but not to worry I'm a lady with respect and class that you can't find among the new generation these days what is wrong with them it's because their parents spoiled them with their newfangled cell phones and video games and internet why back in my day we properly socialized in person and had delightful talks over lunch but noooooo now everyone's texting…"

She was talking to a door! How long could she possibly go on? The two attorneys shared a look.

'Every hour, huh?'

'You should try it sometime.'

For once, Phoenix was glad someone didn't like him.

When the old security guard left ten minutes later, they gave identical sighs of relief and stood up. The blue-suited lawyer winced. Ugh, his knees. Only twenty-six and he was getting old.

Edgeworth popped his back, uttering a satisfied groan before asking the question that had been on his mind for the last seven minutes. "Wright, what IS that thing you're clutching, anyway?"

Oh boy, it was time. No backing out now. Good thing the fudge heart was so big and obvious. The brunette took a second to muster up his courage. "Oh, this? This is why I'm here, actually. It's…," he gulped. Man up, they'd passed out a dozen of these things already. "It's for you." He thrust the heart out in front of him. "HappyValentine'sDayMiles!"

Smooth, Nick, real smooth.

Edgeworth's jaw dropped.

The last time he'd seen the magenta-clad man this utterly shocked was when DL-6 was reopened. Not a good sign.

"Ah, it's not just for you—we made some for everybody! Larry and Gumshoe and Miss von Karma…" he babbled, voice going noticeable higher as the grey-haired man plucked the bag from Phoenix's hands and scrutinized its contents. "…and even this random guy we met on the street. I think he's actually a prosec—"

"You…made this?" Edgeworth casually interrupted, not looking up from the confection.

"We all made it! Me, Pearl and Maya. It was all Maya's idea, she wanted to do some sort of Japanese Valentine's Day tradition—"

"The one where girls give chocolate to the boys they like?"

"Yes!"

The prosecutor gave him a sidelong glance.

"I mean—no! Like I said, we gave one to everybody, it's just yours is a giant obnoxious heart because Pearl wanted me to give it to my 'special someone'—" Oops. Open mouth, insert foot. "Gah!" Phoenix furiously rubbed at his temples. "Sorry, I'm just…it's been crazy lately, you know?"

Edgeworth deadpanned, "Of course I know. You made me a defense attorney. That is very crazy."

Phoenix's head snapped up, recalling the chunk of action he missed while hospitalized. "Oh, yeah, I never really thanked you for that, did I?" he smiled. "You really saved my keister, Miles. Thanks. I don't know how I'll ever pay you back."

Edgeworth's shoulders began trembling, and he put a hand on the brunette's shoulder for support. Was he trying not to cry, or not to laugh? When he finally raised his head, Phoenix wasn't sure what shocked him more—the soft, upward curve gracing his rival's mouth, or the fact that his eyes contained a hint of sadness at the same time.

"Save you? You once told me something very similar, Wright, and I never got a chance to respond. You're wrong." With a swift movement, he pulled the startled lawyer close. "It is always you who saves me," he murmured into Phoenix's ear, and released him. "But if you insist, I'll accept this as my reward." He waved the fudge heart in the air, voice back to normal, like he didn't just invade the other man's personal space in the most freakish way.

Phoenix's face flushed, and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe. "Um…yeah…you do that. I've got to go get the girls." He made for the exit.

"Wright, aren't you forgetting something?"

The defense attorney turned back around, confused.

Edgeworth rolled his eyes. "The toys."

"Oh, yeah, for Maya." He gathered up as many as he could carry, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste to leave the room, which had suddenly become too small, too cramped, too close to Miles.

"And one more thing…"

Phoenix paused in his tracks. Oh, no, what could he want now?

His rival flashed him his most dashing smirk. "Happy Valentine's Day, Wright."

Don't do something you'll regret, don't do something you'll regret… "Happy Valentine's Day, Miles," Phoenix managed to choke out before high-tailing it out of there, all but slamming the door behind him.

Attempting to calm his fluttering heart, the flustered man slid down the wall only a few feet from the office. 'What…what…what was that?'

After regaining his composure, Phoenix managed to make it down the stairs, extract the Feys from Franziska's office (a process facilitated with the lure of new toys), and at Maya's suggestion, went out for "Mission Completed!" burgers. But he still couldn't get Miles out of his mind, even after putting both girls to bed. He was standing really, really close. And was that almost a hug, earlier? He felt his face go red again. Augh!

Meanwhile, a certain prosecutor had already seen his "older" sister glaring at her petit square of fudge, and decided the differences between their portions were too notable to dismiss. He ripped off the tip of the heart and popped it in his mouth. Hmmm, not as smooth or rich as one from a good store. The texture was grainy, too, and the whole thing strongly resembled dog poop in appearance. Miles got himself another piece and chewed. Now, what was he going to do about everyone's favorite ace attorney?

--Fin?

I know, I know. Longest chapter ever, and still, nothing happens. Sorry for building up everyone's expectations, but Phoenix wigged out on me and Miles…was being evil. Okay, everyone was being evil—Phoenix Wright just attracts that sort of attention. I have to admit the characters carry me away a lot. Gomen nasai! Yeah, so this happens after Turnabout Hospital, and more happened in that fic than this one! I promise the next one will have more action. Read and review, please!


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